I am appalled and a good bit chagrined at the gap between what I believe and how I act.

For example, I readily acknowledge the theological truth that there is nothing good in me that caused God to choose me as one to be saved. I fully believe in the Reformation idea that salvation is by grace alone and is unconditional. In other words, I did nothing to deserve God’s favor.

But, when I am confronted with my own failures, I become defensive and bristle at the idea that I fall short of what I am trying to achieve. I am irritated when someone points out my flaws and failures.

I am flawed and fail frequently. I know this and acknowledge this. The question is, why then do I try to hide what I know to be true? .

My attitude and actions are more consistent with the belief that I can make myself better and that all that is lacking is sufficient effort to move toward perfection. This is not consistent with what I claim to believe.

The knowledge of my inability to earn God’s favor should free me up to be who I really am. I don’t have to strive to be something that I cannot be. I am certainly not fooling God and most probably not fooling anyone else either.

Oh, maybe that’s why the Psalmist tells me to “cease striving and know that I am God.”