When Jesus gathered his disciples for the last time before his death, something unexpected happened as recorded in John 13:

“Jesus knew that the Father had given everything into his hands, that he had come from God, and that he was going back to God. So he got up from supper, laid aside his outer clothing, took a towel, and tied it around himself. Next, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet and to dry them with the towel tied around him.”

John 13:3–5 (CSB)

If you believe, as I do, what Jesus claimed about himself, you understand that when John talks about Jesus coming from God and returning to God, it refers to his divinity and his rule from Heaven until he returns. Elsewhere Paul writes this about Jesus:

“He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. For everything was created by him, in heaven and on earth, the visible and the invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things have been created through him and for him. He is before all things, and by him all things hold together.”

Colossians 1:15–17, CSB

Suffice it to say that Jesus is a very important person. The most important person that ever walked the earth.

Why, then, is he washing the disciples’ feet? Shouldn’t it be the other way around? They should be serving him, not the reverse. This goes against the normal social structure where the lesser serves the greater.

But Jesus predicted this during his ministry, saying that if you want to be first in Jesus’ kingdom you must be a slave or a servant (see Mark 9:35 and Mark 10:44). The way to greatness (and effectiveness) in Christ’s kingdom is through serving others.

But we don’t always see such humility in church leaders.

A friend recently showed me a video of a well-known, and I assume popular, preacher who was strutting back and forth on stage saying outrageous things that did not convey servanthood but conveyed swagger and self-centeredness. This preacher’s behavior is so unlike Jesus that I hesitate to call him a Christian preacher because his message contradicts what Jesus promoted.

When you encounter this brand of “Christianity,” the only response is to walk or run away as fast as you can.

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On my walk this morning, I was thinking and praying about all the brokenness in and around me. Specifically, I think of all the injustice I encounter and how our culture condones and sometimes even promotes it. I started to build a list of some of the things in this category, but the point is not what is on the list, but that there is a list in the first place. Each of us can think of many injustices that we see daily.

Then to further complicate the matter and frustrate me in the process, the church sometimes contributes to the problem,

• We gossip and call it “asking for prayer”
• We shun those who fall into sin and call it discipline or the pursuit of holiness
• We put pastors under economic and psychological stress and then wonder why they burn out or fall into sin
• Sometimes we create a culture that promotes harmony to the point that we treat codependency as a fruit of the Spirit.
• At the other extreme, the church can create a culture where it is acceptable to be angry all the time.

While walking I was reminded that I am good at finding excuses to justify my sinful response to the injustice. I can become passive when I should be active. I can say things that are not helpful or uplifting (i.e. complaining). I can become part of the problem rather than part of the solution.

As I considered all this, a sonnet by John Donne came to mind:

Batter my heart, three-person’d God, for you
As yet but knock, breathe, shine, and seek to mend;
That I may rise and stand, o’erthrow me, and bend
Your force to break, blow, burn, and make me new.
I, like an usurp’d town to another due,
Labor to admit you, but oh, to no end;
Reason, your viceroy in me, me should defend,
But is captiv’d, and proves weak or untrue.
Yet dearly I love you, and would be lov’d fain,
But am betroth’d unto your enemy;
Divorce me, untie or break that knot again,
Take me to you, imprison me, for I,
Except you enthrall me, never shall be free,
Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me.

John Donne’s Holy Sonnet XIV

Donne gets at the fact that the first thing that I need to do in response to the injustice around me is to seek God to replace the injustice and sin in my own heart with his love.

Rather than responding in anger and manipulation, I need to respond in love

Rather than responding in passivity, and hoping the problem disappears, I need to respond in love.

Rather than responding in numbing behaviors such as busyness, hobbies, and recreational activities, I need to respond in love.

The problem is that responding in love is so messy and often inconvenient.

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In my previous post, I quoted these words of Jesus:

“This is the work of God—that you believe in the one he has sent.”

John 6:29, CSB

When I think of all the times that I have not fully, or even partially, trusted God, when I think of all the times when I have not believed the promises in Scripture, when I think of all the times when I chose unbelief over belief, I get overwhelmed.

But then I remember the prayer of a father seeking healing for his son after Jesus informed the father that “everything is possible for the one who believes”:

“I do believe; help my unbelief!”

Mark 9:24, CSB

What a great prayer!

For some of us who have been beaten up by life, trust may be a difficult thing. While we hear from the pulpit that we need to be all in, “all in” can be hard for some of us.

I am encouraged that Jesus honored the man’s prayer and healed his son.

I trust that he continues to honor that prayer and will heal those of us who pray it now.

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It is one thing to know about grace, it is entirely another to live as if grace is real. I was reminded today of the many ways that I have chosen to live as if I am not under the grace of God.

Sure, I know I don’t deserve God’s grace, and I know he freely bestows it on all who ask in the name of Jesus. But yet I often choose to live as though this is not true. I beat myself up for my failures and live as though God is angry with me even though He has promised his forgiveness.

In reflecting upon this, an old hymn came to mind:

1 Marvelous grace of our loving Lord,
Grace that exceeds our sin and our guilt!
Yonder on Calvary’s mount out-poured–
There where the blood of the Lamb was spilt.

Refrain:
Grace, grace, God’s grace,
Grace that will pardon and cleanse within;
Grace, grace, God’s grace,
Grace that is greater than all our sin!

2 Sin and despair, like the sea-waves cold,
Threaten the soul with infinite loss;
Grace that is greater– yes, grace untold–
Points to the Refuge, the mighty Cross. [Refrain]

3 Marvelous, infinite, matchless grace,
Freely bestowed on all who believe!
All who are longing to see His face,
Will you this moment His grace receive? [Refrain]

Hymnary.org

Yesterday I read the words of Jesus in John 6:29:

“This is the work of God—that you believe in the one he has sent.”

John 6:29, CSB

When I doubt God’s grace and love for me, I am failing to do what Jesus calls the work of God. I am choosing to disbelieve in spite of the evidence. This the Bible calls sin and the remedy is repentance.

A good friend called me out on this today and while it is hard to hear how my choices have hurt others, I realize that I can ask forgiveness, seek restoration, and trust that God will accomplish repair in me and in those I have hurt by my unbelief.

I’m taking baby steps toward a new freedom in Christ.

If you are encouraged by this post or would like to join in a conversation, please use the comment form below to offer your feedback. If you are reading this in an email and would like to comment, you can reply to the email or click on the “Read in browser” link below to go to the web page where you can enter a comment. I enjoy hearing from you.