“The steadfast of mind You will keep in perfect peace, Because he trusts in You. (Isaiah 26:3, NASB 95)

The Hebrew word for peace is shalom, which conveys the idea of much more than a lack of hostility or trouble, it carries the idea of complete wellbeing, a sense that everything is right and good. In this verse, Isaiah writes shalom shalom, the repetition indicating that it is ultimate peace or shalom he has in mind, therefore the translators use the English “perfect peace” to convey this idea.

This verse claims that those who have their hope fixed entirely on God will experience perfect peace. This implies that if I am not experiencing perfect peace at any moment in time, it is because my focus is on something other than God.

The story recorded in Matthew 14:22-33 of Peter walking on the water is a perfect illustration of this. When Peter focused on Jesus he was fine and stayed above the waves. But when he focused on his circumstances, he floundered and began to drown.

As I have aged, the world around me seems larger and more chaotic and at the same time, I have an increasing understanding of how little influence or control I have over my circumstances. This can lead to frustration, and is probably the biggest reason some old people become very cranky later in life.

Youth brings an energy to life and when one is young, it is easier to think that if sufficient effort is applied, any obstacle can be overcome. At least, in a relatively safe neighborhood in a safe country in which freedoms are granted, one can think along these lines.

Recently I read part of the biography of Corrie Ten Boom to my grandchildren. In Nazi occupied Holland, no such delusion could be supported. They encountered evil of the highest magnitude and had little influence on the outcome. No amount of effort on Corrie’s part could ultimately thwart the evil perpetrated by the Nazis.

Is it possible to have shalom shalom even when there are aspects of life that make me want to curl up in a ball and hide under the covers? Yes, it is possible and I can say that there are fleeting moments of time when I have experience such peace.

I also have people like Corrie Ten Boom who can testify to finding that peace.

Perhaps it would be good to reflect on the verses Paul included at the end of the eighth chapter of Romans:

Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? Just as it is written, “For Your sake we are being put to death all day long; We were considered as sheep to be slaughtered.” But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:35–39, NASB 95)

Nothing can separate us from the love of Christ. Knowing that is a sufficient foundation on which to build peace, perfect peace.

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On Saturday, July 19, 2025, we held a memorial service for my mother who died in June at the age of 90. The following is the eulogy that I gave during the service with a few minor edits for clarity:

This may come as a shock to you, but parents were not ones to approach life from a touchy-feely perspective. Life was binary. The choice was always between right and wrong, black and white, good and bad. There was no gray.

As an adult, I wondered why we never talked about anything in my family when I was growing up. Things happened and there was no explanation or dialog about how to process it all. Stuff got swept under the carpet all the time. This confused me and, in some ways, made growing up harder than it needed to be. As a result, I learned to not ask questions. To do so was pointless.

But on the positive side, I learned to keep going despite the lack of understanding and make the best of it. For that I am grateful.

My mom was a perfectionist. She also held my sister and me to the same high standard to which she held herself. I can remember more than once being the target of her “stink eye” which let me know, in no uncertain terms, that I was not measuring up at that moment. While it was hard at the time, and I often felt that I would never “measure up,” I can now see how I learned self control that served me well later in life. For that I am grateful.

For me, it is hard to separate my parents as to how they interacted with me because they functioned as a unit. But as I have gotten older, and hopefully wiser, I reminded myself that my parents had a few challenges in common that shaped our household dynamics:

1. My parents were born during the Great Depression of the 30’s. Their life began when things were tough for everyone. I am reminded of the John Wayne line, “Life is tough, and it’s even tougher when you’re stupid.” They learned to just get over it and keep going when life seemed unfair.
2. They both were children of trauma. My Grandfather, Robert Henry McIntyre, died when my dad was 7 and my grandmother never remarried. Therefore, my dad grew up without a father. My mom grew up in a household marked by relational chaos and instability. But she did what she could and tried her best to take care of the younger siblings.
3. They both came to faith in Jesus in a church system that often lost sight of God’s grace and pressured congregants to appear to conform to an ideal that was impossible to meet. I believe they spent a lifetime recovering from the damage that a harsh, legalistic system imposed on them.

My mom persevered despite the challenges that life brought her. I now realize that she taught me gritty toughness when things are hard. For that I am grateful.

To support our family, my mom had to work outside the home. Yet she would still do all the shopping, cooking, and cleaning to keep the household running. I learned a lot about time management from watching my mother. For that I am grateful.

My parents had me in church at an early age, and even though there was little grace and much inconsistency in the church environment of my youth, there was a foundation laid that set me on the right course. I came into relationship with Jesus at at the age of five, and while I have had periods of questioning and uncertainty, I never walked away from my faith. For that I am grateful.

Another realization that has come to me as an adult is that the the legalism in the churches of my youth forced me to face the need for an increasingly radical application of the Gospel of Jesus Christ to my own life. I learned to receive grace from God and to give grace to others who also struggle to “work out their salvation” as the Apostle Paul puts it. For that I am grateful.

On that basis, I now realize that my parents were works in progress throughout their lives. And I am encouraged by what Paul wrote in Philippians 1:6, a verse that I now claim for myself, my wife, my children, and my grand children,

For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus. (Philippians 1:6, NASB 95)

Looking back on my growing up, which Philippians 1:6 gives me confidence that it will someday be complete, I can now see how God has used both the good things and the hard things to teach me lessons I need to learn. God is using them to conform me more and more into the person I was designed to be. For that I am grateful.

In conclusion, while my mom was not a perfect mom, I can say that she sought to do what was right and I am confident that she has been greeted by her savior with the words, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

Thank You.

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At a Bible Study I attend, one of the men handed out a sheet of paper containing two lists. One list showed the things that are outside of our control. The other detailed the things that we can control.

In reality, the list of things outside our control would be a long list, and since by definition they are things that we cannot change or influence, there is limited benefit from concentrating upon them.

Therefore, I thought it might be beneficial to readers of this blog to list thing things that we can control. That list, with Scriptural support, is shown below.

How I Treat Others

“Treat others the same way you want them to treat you.” (Luke 6:31, NASB 95)

What I Think About

“Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.” (Philippians 4:8, NASB 95)

My Obedience to God

““If you love Me, you will keep My commandments.” (John 14:15, NASB 95)

Forgiving Others

“For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.” (Matthew 6:14, NASB 95)

My Effort to Grow Spiritually

“but grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory, both now and to the day of eternity. Amen.” (2 Peter 3:18, NASB 95)

How I Handle Temptation

“Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.” (James 4:7, NASB 95)

My Faith in God

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding.” (Proverbs 3:5, NASB 95)

How Much I Pray

“pray without ceasing;” (1 Thessalonians 5:17, NASB 95)

My Attitude

“This is the day which the Lord has made; Let us rejoice and be glad in it.” (Psalm 118:24, NASB 95)

My Words

“Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person.” (Colossians 4:6, NASB 95)

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Yesterday was a hard day. It seemed like lots of stuff got piled on me and I didn’t respond well. I will spare you the details but suffice it to say that circumstances reminded me of my many failures and my oh-so-evident faults.

This morning, in a Lyft on my way to the airport, I saw a rock formation called “The Praying Monk” at the head of Camelback Mountain. And I thought, wouldn’t it be nice if that monk could pray for me.

Then it hit me, I have some one way better than a praying monk interceding for me.

“My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous.” (1 John 2:1, ESV)

My mind was then taken to John 21 where Jesus sought out Peter on the shore of Galilee. Peter, the one who denied Jesus by his words and actions, was likely overwhelmed by the magnitude of his failure. I am sure it was a surprise to Peter when he was not only restored to fellowship but was also given a mission to tend those who Jesus was calling into fellowship with himself.

Looking into the face of Jesus, Peter found grace and acceptance rather than condemnation. As John reminds us in the verse quoted above, you and I can find the same grace and acceptance.

While this reflection doesn’t change my circumstances, it certainly does change my attitude about them.

Knowing that I am not alone changes everything. Knowing that the one with me accepts me as I am is even better. But the best part is that Jesus is actively working to allay my fears and transform me into the person he designed me to be.

If you are encouraged by this post or would like to join in a conversation, please use the comment form below to offer your feedback. If you are reading this in an email and would like to comment, you can reply to the email or click on the “Read in browser” link below to go to the web page where you can enter a comment. I enjoy hearing from you.