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Attempts at Honesty

Reflections on the interplay of the Bible and Culture

  • Westminster Shorter Catechism Series
  • Sermon on the Mount Series
Home Archives for forgiveness

How can we coexist?

Posted on February 5, 2014 Written by Mark McIntyre 1 Comment

This is the 20th post in the Sermon on the Mount Series.

Bumper Stickers“Give peace a chance” “Coexist” You’ve probably seen bumper stickers with similar sentiments.

The problem is that evil is a reality that must be dealt with. Some men (or women) will seek to dominate others through force or intimidation. Even a casual investigation into the history of man provides ample evidence of this. An ever so small slice of the news is sufficient to prove the reality of evil.

One response to evil is to lash back to hurt the perpetrator of that evil. This seems to be the default response in the human heart.  This is illustrated by what Sean Connery says in the Untouchables, “They pull a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue.”

Religious and irreligious systems have both perpetuated this response to evil. One need look no further than the Middle East for many examples of religion responding to evil in kind. But religion is not alone in this. Marxist states and other totalitarian systems are equally guilty.

It is likely that we agree on the sentiment behind these bumper stickers, by on what basis can we coexist? Where do we find the power to forgive and bring healing when evil strikes? How can evil be overcome without further violence?

To not respond in kind to evil requires a sense of delayed gratification. The one who does not respond must feel that it is better in the long run for him to let the evil go without revenge.

For the Christian, the idea that God will ultimately set everything right forms the basis on which we can turn the other cheek. Jesus goes so far as to tell us that we are blessed if we are persecuted or insulted (Matthew 5:10-11).

I am not saying that Christians are the only ones that can practice forgiveness and be peacemakers. I am also not saying that Christians have always done this well. We have struggled with this from the foundation of the Church.

I am saying that Jesus makes a compelling case as to why we should be forgiving and pursuing peace.

The struggle comes in the moment by moment decisions that need to be made. Do I complain about the boss to a coworker? Do I share a tidbit that I heard on the radio (and did not verify) about a politician with whom I do not agree? Do I use my words to build up or tear down? I have ample opportunities to practice peace making.

A couple of thoughts regarding peacemaking come to mind. First, our peacemaking should not be based on denial of the evil. Paul tells us to be angry without sinning (Eph. 4:26), thus indicating that there are legitimate reasons to be angry. The second thought is that I do not have to rely on my own strength and wisdom to be a peacemaker. Jesus promised that we would have help:

“If you love me, you will keep my commandments. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever,” (John 14:15–16, ESV)

The core issue for me in being a peacemaker is whether or not I trust God enough to leave it in his hands. My failures at peacemaking indicate that often I do not have sufficient trust. But, it is growing . . .

Filed Under: Bible Reflection Tagged With: coexist, forgiveness, Peace, peacemaker, peacemaking

No money in the revenge business

Posted on December 3, 2012 Written by Mark McIntyre 5 Comments

RevengeOne of my all time favorite movies is The Princess Bride, which is listed as an adventure comedy.

One of the sub plots in the movie concerns Inigo Montoya who has spent his life in pursuit of revenge on the man who killed his father. When questioned about his occupation, Inigo mentions that he has to work for Vizzini because there is “not a lot of money in the revenge business.”

These are wise words and we would do well to hear them.

As with Inigo, the pursuit of revenge or the holding of a grudge takes a lot of time and energy that could be channeled into activities that provide a higher return.

In New Testament Greek, the word that is translated forgive in English also carries the idea of letting go or sending away. I think of this process as one of giving up being offended and allowing the issue to be between God and the one I am forgiving. In other words, to forgive means that the offense is no longer something that I think about. The offense is released into the hands of God.

I certainly do not want to make the process sound easy or clean. To understand the depth of the hurt resulting from the offense is sometimes very difficult but this does not diminish the importance of pursuing the goal of forgiveness.

Some offenses are easy to forgive. The rude checker at the grocery store or the driver who cuts you off in traffic are examples that come to mind. These types of offenses are not personal in that the checker or the driver is not targeting a particular person. When the checker is rude to me, he has likely been rude to the customers before and after me. I am not the target. This makes is easier to let go.

It is the personal offenses that are not so easily forgiven. When it gets to offenses committed by loved ones, parents or authority figures, the letting go may be a more difficult process. Deep wounds are difficult to heal and a friend or counselor may be a necessary part of the process of forgiveness. But, though difficult, the process is important.

Jesus tells us how important this process is when he teaches us to pray, “forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” (Matthew 6:12) He follows this prayer up with the interesting statement,

For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions. (Matthew 6:14-15)

The point is that when we understand how much we’ve been forgiven, that understanding should motivate us to forgive others.

It strikes me that if forgiveness is a letting go, then it takes a measure of trust in God to let it go. If I am confident that God loves me and is in control, I can then be confident that the offense against me will not derail God’s good plan for me.

My experience shows me that this is easier to understand than to do. The concept is not difficult but the process is. I should also point out that there is a large difference between forgiveness and trust. There are people whom I have forgiven for their offenses against me that I do not trust. Forgiveness is granted but trust is earned.

Filed Under: Bible Reflection Tagged With: forgive, forgiveness

Remember the real enemy – it may not be who you think

Posted on June 8, 2012 Written by Mark McIntyre 2 Comments

EnemyThere is no perfect church. Every church is populated with people who struggle with pride and selfishness just like you and I do. Every church has leaders who struggle with pride and selfishness. As a result, conflict is inevitable. It’s going to happen. In James 4:1-3 we see that such conflict was an issue in the First Century church.

When conflict happens, we should keep in mind who the real enemy is. 1 Peter 5:8 tells us that our real enemy is the devil who prowls around looking for those he can devour. Unfortunately we, as church members, sometimes aid him in his devouring. We, knowingly or unknowingly, participate in behavior that creates conflict.

It is important to keep in mind that the church member or church leader who creates the conflict is not the enemy. The real enemy is far more nefarious (this word just sounds creepy) and subtle. The real enemy wants you to think that your brother or sister in Christ is the enemy so that he can continue his work of destruction undetected.

If we keep in mind the real enemy, it should make it easier to forgive the one with whom we’ve had the conflict and work toward reconciliation. Even if the conflict cannot be reconciled, forgiveness takes the conflict off your plate and frees you up to move forward without being bogged down.

Keep the ultimate source of the conflict in mind, deal with your part of it before the Cross, forgive and move forward. The concept is easy to understand, but is so difficult to do.

Filed Under: Bible Reflection Tagged With: Conflict, forgiveness, James, Leader, Peter

The God of new beginnings and second chances

Posted on March 1, 2012 Written by Mark McIntyre Leave a Comment

Second ChanceFailure is a part of daily life. The best we can do is to keep the failures small, but  failures they are none-the-less.

The question is not whether we will fail, but how we will respond to failure.

Every motivational speaker will tell you that the best way to respond to failure is to pick yourself up and keep moving. Learn from the failure and move forward. There is some truth to this. Yet our moral failures require more than just getting up and trying again.

Even a casual reading of the Sermon on the Mount will provide the understanding that from God’s point of view, sin is an internal process that sometimes works it’s way into outward behavior. The sin of lust can sometimes lead to adultery. Inappropriate anger can sometimes lead to murder. The moral failure happens before the external action.

The Bible records the colossal failures of some of the heroes of the faith. Abraham twice lied about his wife and nearly caused international incidents on both occasions. Isaac perpetrated the same lie about his wife with similar result. David committed adultery and covered it up with murder. Peter denied Jesus three times. Paul began his career as a bounty hunter bringing Christians to persecution and death.

All of these men, like us, have experienced failure. They each have also experienced forgiveness and restoration. They were in relationship with the God of second chances. God promises to forgive when we confess and repent (1 John 1:9).

The restoration of Peter in John chapter 21 is illustrative of this. Not only did Jesus restore Peter to fellowship, he gave him a ministry of caring for the church that was about to be born. Tend my lambs is what Jesus commanded Peter to do. Jesus did not excuse Peter’s behavior but gave him the opportunity to move beyond it. Not only did he get to move beyond it, he was also able to be a key figure in the growth of the early church.

I should point out that the major difference between the Peter of the courtyard (Matthew 26:69-75) and Peter the street preacher (Acts 2:14 ff) is that the Holy Spirit came upon the disciples (including Peter) and empowered them for ministry.

God uses our failures to help us to learn humility and dependence upon him. This humility and dependence is the foundation on which the ministry can then be built. Perhaps failure is the only sure path to humility.

Since our God is the God of second chances and he has given us the opportunity for restoration, we need to be the people of second chances. Being the knuckleheads we sometimes are, we are bound to hurt each other. When this happens we need to forgive as Paul instructs to do in Ephesians 4:32 which reads, “Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.” We are to forgive as we have been forgiven.

Too often in the church, people are labeled as a result of some event in their lives and not allowed to recover from that failure. Unfortunately there is some truth in the criticism that the “church is the only organization that shoots its wounded.”

There is nothing so heinous that cannot be forgiven by God and we should not be slow to practice that same forgiveness. My guess is that if we did a better job of forgiving, our stress level would go down and our church attendance would go up.

Filed Under: Bible Reflection Tagged With: Abraham, Christ, forgiveness, God, Gospel of Matthew, Holy Spirit, Jesus, Peter

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