Speed dialing with no signal – Dealing with frustration in prayer

Posted on March 25, 2012 Written by Mark McIntyre 1 Comment

Recently, the lyric “speed dialing with no signal” from a U2 song caught my ear. It grabbed my attention because it described my recent experience in prayer.

I take some comfort in the fact that many saints before me have had similar experience. In the Psalms, we find David and the other Psalmists asking God the question “how long?” at least twelve times (Ps. 4:2, Ps. 6:3, Ps. 13:1-2, Ps. 35:17, Ps. 62:3, Ps. 74:10, Ps. 79:5, Ps. 80:4, Ps. 82:2, Ps. 89:46, Ps. 90:13, Ps. 94:3). The “how long” question is an indication of frustration and impatience.

So I am not alone in my frustration in prayer. I am not the only one who has ever felt that his prayers were bouncing off the ceiling. Knowing that this is a shared experiece brings some comfort, but what is the solution?

As I consider this, three things come to mind as remedies to frustration in prayer:

I need to remember the character of God as revealed in Jesus.
I need to remember that Jesus teaches me to be persistent in prayer
I need to remember the two great commands

The Character of God

In John 14:9, Jesus indicates that those who have seen Jesus have seen the father. Jesus reveals to us the character of God. In Jesus, we see a God that is patient, forgiving, gentle and loving. I seen in Jesus a God who wants to grant my prayers, and if he does not grant them, there is good reason for the denial.

Persistence in Prayer

In Luke 18:1, Luke introduces a parable as one that teaches us to “pray and not lose heart.” In the parable, Jesus is giving us permission to be persistent in prayer. We are to continue to come to God with our needs and requests. There is no downside to sticking to it. I cannot over-pray.

The Two Great Commands

In Matthew 22:37-39, Jesus gives us that the two great commands. The first is to love God with our entire being. The second is to love our neighbor as ourselves. I need to focus first on God and then on my neighbor. My conclusion is that I am not to focus primarily on myself.

My “speed dialing with no signal” experience has been primarily caused by lack of attention to this third focus. When I get focused on what I want, I can get rather petulant when it is not provided. I may hide my petulance or I may even spiritualize it, but it remains a behavior that God will not tolerate or reward.

In Matthew 6:33, I am told to seek God’s kingdom before all (that first great command again) and everything else will be taken care of. My job is to get my priorities straight and keep them straight.

Love – not busyness or programs

Posted on March 6, 2012 Written by Mark McIntyre 1 Comment

So much of church life in America is centered on busyness, programs and meetings, that it is possible to lose sight of what is really important. There is a danger of losing our focus. Paul tells us that our focus should be love.

Part of the danger is the great need that is within and without the church. People are becoming increasingly battered by life choices that are validated by the culture but prove to be damaging to the individual. There is much to do.

Yet the danger is that we take this on in our own strength and move ahead of God and without realizing it, supplant what God is trying to do.

In the opening verses of Philippians, Paul lets us know how he prayed for that church. In Phil. 1:9-11 Paul prays that the Philippians’ love might abound in knowledge and discernment. He did not pray for their busyness to abound. Nor did he pray for their programs to abound; he prayed for their love to abound.

He further qualifies this statement by praying specifically that the love would abound in knowledge and discernment. This is not a squishy, emotional love. Paul desires that the Philippians (and we) would have a love based on truth and good judgment. Our love must make the object be well not just feel well.

The purpose of this love is so that we might approve the things that are excellent, be sincere, not give offense and might be filled with the fruits of righteousness. Love is the basis on which all these things depend. Our love should work itself out in a life that is worth emulating.

I was reminded recently that it is very possible to be so busy doing good things that we miss out on opportunities to really convey love. When this happens, it is like being on a treadmill. A lot of activity takes place, but it doesn’t get you anywhere.

How many times have we had to have 20 second greetings in the church lobby because we have to rush to pick up a child, provide child care, cover the coffee ministry, the library ministry or some other activity? We have sign-ups and schedules and coverage charts which need to be updated and communicated. These are all good things, but the breathless activity often makes it difficult to deepen relationships.

I get the sense from the gospels that even though the needs surrounding Jesus were great, he still found time for teaching his disciples. He found time to share meals with tax collectors. He found time to be alone with his father.

Maybe we need to cut “ministries” rather than adding them. We certainly need a lot more love and perhaps a few less programs. Rather than rushing off to that “ministry” post, we should take the time to really minister to the person next to us in the pew. We could use a little less superficiality and a little more honesty.

Take a deep breath, relax and be real.

A lesson learned about puppies and prayer

Posted on January 29, 2012 Written by Mark McIntyre Leave a Comment

We are blessed to have a 9 week old puppy in the house. Her name is Marzipan and we call her Marcy for short. Part of this blessing is entailed in trips outside in the middle of the night as part of house training.

The really difficult part is to get Marcy to understand that just because she is awake does not mean that 2:00 AM is play time. It takes some time to get her to calm down once she is returned to the crate.

As I was sitting next to the crate working on calming Marcy down, I was impatient to get back to bed. There are many other times when I have been impatient. Waiting for the light to turn green, waiting to see a prospect, waiting in line at the store are all opportunities for impatience to strike.

What if, instead, I looked at these waiting times as opportunities to pray? I certainly cannot make the claim that I spend too much time in prayer. I suppose that there are few who would. Rather than wasting time being impatient, prayer is a better response.

This is one application of Paul’s command in 1 Thessalonians 5:7, to pray without ceasing. I can and should pray at any time, any place and in any circumstance. So when I find myself being impatient, I hope to choose prayer over impatience.

My daughter’s puppy taught me that.

Thoughts on Prayer inspired by C. S. Lewis

Posted on January 6, 2012 Written by Mark McIntyre 2 Comments

C. S. Lewis ends his essay entitled The Efficacy of Prayer in a collection entitled The World’s Last Night: And Other Essays with these words:

“If we were stronger, we might be less tenderly treated. If we were braver, we might be sent, with far less help, to defend far more desperate posts in the great battle.”

In the article, Lewis builds a case that while there is mystery in prayer, one thing we do know is that prayer is not a means of tapping into a genie god that gives us whatever we want. By its very nature, a petition is a request of someone, a request that can be granted or denied based on the wishes of the one being petitioned. We are not guaranteed the request and a denial does not indicate a lack of love on the part of God.

To support his point that a denial does not indicate a lack of love, Lewis uses the example of Jesus in Gethsemane. In Matthew 26 and Mark 14 we find Jesus praying to avoid drinking the cup of God’s wrath on our behalf. He feared the suffering that was to come, yet was resigned to follow the father’s will. It was God’s will that Jesus would go to the Cross to accomplish the Salvation that was planned from eternity.

God, in his mercy and wisdom, does allow us to participate, through prayer, in the accomplishment of his will. In the course of that accomplishment, we are sometimes privileged to see answers to prayer that defy explanation as coincidence. Often it is those who are young in the faith, parying with innocent boldness, who see the most striking answers to prayer. Their immature faith is nurtured by these prayers.

In contrast to this, it seems that mature Christians are sometimes stretched in their faith by trials when it seems as though God is unwilling to grant their petition for relief. God, in his wisdom knows where the believer is and what he can handle (see 1 Corinthians 10:13). Paul prayed three times to be relieved of his “thorn in the flesh,” a petition that was not granted (2 Cor. 12:7). In the case of Paul’s thorn, God thought it necessary to allow it to remain to increase Paul’s understanding and dependence upon the grace of God.

I am encouraged in that when I find myself in circumstances which seem desperate, and in which God seems to delay in responding, I am better able to remember that I am not abandoned. I can also be confident that God is using the circumstance to build spiritual strength in me.

The desperate posts in the battle can be lonely and hard, but God knows what he’s doing and he chooses well. Why then am I so reluctant to volunteer?

What about you?