Attempts at Honesty

Reflections on the interplay of the Bible and Culture

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What church leaders should look like

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LeadershipSome on the outside look at church people as smug moralists who look down on the sinners outside. One does not need to search very hard on the internet to find some preacher, of the hellfire and brimstone variety, screaming out condemnation on the sinners outside. When we practice behavior like this, we deserve the condemnation.

I want to assure anyone who has experienced church in this way that this behavior goes against everything that Christ stands for. For example, this morning I read some verses in 1 Peter that speak to this. If the church is acting as she ought, these are the traits that outsiders should see:

“To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit; not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing.” (1 Peter 3:8–9)

Church leaders would do well to allow visitors to assess their congregations on how well they display these traits. Church leaders would do well to allow their congregants to assess how well the leaders are displaying these traits.

Are there factions in the leadership? Are the leaders sympathetic to the people they are called to lead? Do they treat others as brothers and sisters in the Lord? All the qualities listed by Peter in the verses above should be on display in the church leaders.

As congregants, we too should be assessing ourselves as to whether we are displaying these traits. Notice that Peter addresses this encouragement to “all of you.” We all are called to diligently seek to have these traits displayed in our lives.

As I write this, one of these traits stands out to me as foundational. That trait is humility.

When we have a firm grasp on the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and understand our desperate need for a savior, humility should be the result. When we understand how deeply rooted is the evil in our own hearts, we should be more forgiving of the sin in others.

It has been my experience that those who are truly humble have less difficulty in displaying the other qualities mentioned by Peter.

Be served to serve

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Serve to ServeJohn 13 records the story of Jesus washing the disciples feet before the Last Supper. During that event, there is a curious exchange between Peter and Jesus which has always puzzled me.

“He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, ‘Lord, do you wash my feet?’ Jesus answered him, ‘What I am doing you do not understand now, but afterward you will understand.’ Peter said to him, ‘You shall never wash my feet.’ Jesus answered him, ‘If I do not wash you, you have no share with me.'” (John 13:6–8, ESV)

What is interesting about this is Jesus’ statement that if Peter does not submit to having his feet washed by Jesus, he has no part with Jesus.

I relate to Peter’s sense that it seems wrong to have the lesser served by the greater. On the surface, Jesus’ statement carries some difficulty, which may be why I missed the import of it in my many previous readings of this passage. Why would Peter have no share if his feet were not washed?

A thought comes to mind.

John tells us that “We love, because He first loved us” (1 John 4:19). For the Christian, being loved by God is the source which energizes our love for others.

Jesus identified two great commands; the first is to love God (the vertical relationship) and the second is to love our neighbor (the horizontal). The established order of these commands is not only one of importance, but also one of sequence. Scripture and experience show me that love for neighbor (selfless, agape love) is made possible by establishment of the vertical relationship. It is love for God that fuels my love for others.

We need to experience the washing of grace before we can effectively administer grace to others.

For the rest of his life, Peter would have the memory of Jesus washing his feet. I wonder if that memory would be one that would buoy him up when things got difficult. The Christ, who later cheated death and rose from the grave, took Peter’s feet in his hands and washed them. Peter was served so that he could then go and serve others.

While we have not had the experience of physical foot washing, as Christians we have had the experience of receiving forgiveness for our sin and failure. That knowledge of forgiveness should be the engine that drives us to offer forgiveness to others. We have been served so that we can serve others.

Composed in the presence of death

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Composed in the presence of deathI began a draft of this post a few months ago while I was reading Redemption Accomplished and Applied by John Murray. At that time, I thought the quote below worth sharing. But in late August, I was shocked to learn of the death of the son of a friend of mine. He was a great kid with a promising future and he passed away at the age of 23.

The recent experience with death made the quote below even more poignant.

“. . . we too often fail to reckon with the grim reality of death and are composed in its presence not because of faith but because of hardened insensitivity . . .” – John Murray

It is too easy to hold the reality of death from penetrating my thoughts. I have experienced the hardened insensitivity of which John Murray speaks.

In contrast to this, I am reminded of the response of Jesus at the tomb of Lazarus.

By more deeply connecting with the reality of death and the separation that it brings, we can then more deeply experience peace in the conquest over death that Jesus accomplished on our behalf.

By more deeply connecting with the reality of death and the separation that it brings, I can be of better use to those who are deeply impacted by death. Hardened insensitivity does no-one any good. Pretending that death does not bring pain renders me useless in the situation.

I am reminded that the experience of peace may not immediately follow the experience of the reality of death. It is unrealistic to think that someone who is caught up in the loss of a loved one will find peace without going through a process of grieving. And that process takes time and is accomplished with uneven progress.

My point is that there is a difference between being numb and being peaceful. Perhaps the only path toward becoming peaceful in the presence of death is to avoid insensitivity and be fully present in the loss.

Jesus wept when Lazarus died. It’s OK if we weep also.

Church wounds run deep

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Church Wounds
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Recently I received an invitation from a missionary friend to a meeting to share the results from a recent trip. The event will be hosted by a church we previously attended. While I would like to support my friend, I am not welcome to attend any event at that church. I had to decline the invitation because of where it is to be held.

My emotional reaction to the invitation surprised me a little. It has been four years since we left that church. I have forgiven those that hurt me and I thought that my experience there was safely in the past. What I learned from the invitation is that while the pain is no longer acute, it is still there. I find that like the wound Frodo received on Weathertop, the pain never completely goes away. Church wounds run deep.

My experience with this leader is not unique to me. I had a conversation last week with a friend who relayed a painful church experience to me. Many people have been wounded deeply as a result of participation in a church. If you don’t believe me, try a Google search on “bad church experiences.”

My point is not to lash out at the former church. My purpose in sharing this is three-fold.

  1. I want to encourage leaders to examine the reasons why people leave their churches. If there is a pattern of people feeling wounded when they leave, then something is wrong and it needs to be addressed. It is your responsibility as a leader to figure it out and allow God to bring correction. You, as leaders, will be judged by how well you have nurtured those under your influence. Here is a quick test: do those who leave your church feel welcome to come back?
  2. I want to encourage those that have been wounded in churches, that the wounds they received also grieve the heart of God. Note that it was religious leaders who initiated the crucifixion of Jesus, so he fully understands the implications of leaders abusing their positions. The Old Testament prophets had a lot to say about the religious leaders of Israel who failed in their commission to shepherd the people of Israel (Ezekiel 34 comes to mind).
  3. I want to encourage those that have been wounded in churches, that while the wounds run deep, finding a good church does a lot toward relieving the pain of the bad experience. There are pastors who take seriously their calling to minister to their congregations and who lovingly care for God’s people. Find one.

On the bright side, much of what I now believe about what the church should be was shaped by that horrible experience. The pain caused me to seek understanding from Scripture about how the church should function and how spiritual leaders should act. An overwhelmingly negative example forced me to look for a positive one.

If you have been wounded by a church, please do not stop trying to find a church with leaders who are serving both God and his people. They are out there and they will one day be greatly rewarded for their service.

Feel free to share your experience in the comment section below. I’d love to hear from you.

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