• Home
  • About This Blog
  • Contact Me
  • Subscribe
  • Comment Policy

Attempts at Honesty

Reflections on the interplay of the Bible and Culture

  • Westminster Shorter Catechism Series
  • Sermon on the Mount Series
Home Communication Skills Before you speak

Before you speak

Posted on September 27, 2015 Written by Mark McIntyre Leave a Comment


3 QuestionsAt a men’s event I recently attended, one of the speakers listed three questions to ask yourself before you speak. These are particularly good questions to ask when the conversation contains some tension. Because i found them helpful, thought I would share them here.

The three questions to ask yourself before speaking are:

  1. Is it true?
  2. Is it necessary?
  3. Is it kind?

Is it True?

Are you being accurate in what you are saying? Are you providing the facts in the matter at hand? Before you respond, make sure that you understand the situation and avoid saying anything that is not completely true.

Is it necessary?

When interacting with people, there are things that we know are true, but it is not necessary for us to say them. Is what you are going to say for the benefit of the one hearing it? If it is not going to benefit the other person, it is probably better off left unsaid. Wisdom is needed to know what should be said and when it is appropriate to say it.

Is it kind?

If what you are going to say is true, and it is necessary to say it, can you say it in a kind way? John described Jesus as being “full of grace and truth” (John 1:14). We should strive to be like Jesus in this. Paul tells us to speak the truth in love (Eph. 4:15). Whatever we say should be loving and kind.

How much better would this world be if everyone thought through these questions before speaking. How much better would our families, church and places of work be if we did this consistently?

We have all said things which cause us to wish for a rewind button. My hope in sharing these questions is that by applying them consistently we might increase the time between statements that we later regret.

 


Filed Under: Communication Skills

About Mark McIntyre

A follower of Jesus Christ who shares observations about how Scripture should impact the church and the world. Mark is the original author and editor of Attempts at Honesty.

Follow Attempts at Honesty

Honesty in your Inbox

Amazed

Why are you amazed?

I can read about miracles in the Bible and not be amazed. The flannel graph presentations of my youth have made the stories so familiar that too often I do not connect with how radical the events actually were. This healing should amaze me but its familiarity masks how marvelous it really is.

On dealing with the hurt caused by churches

In short, the problem with the church stares back at me in the mirror every morning. I am the problem with the church.

Grace and Truth

Grace, Truth and Difficult People

We all have had to deal with difficult people at one time or another. In the midst of the difficulty we are called to love the difficult person. We need to interact with that person with both grace and truth. Jesus is our example on how to maintain this balance.

Celtic Cross

The reason for our existence

The greatest danger of any organization is to lose sight of its reason for existence. This is especially true for the church.

Going Up

Os Guinness on Progressivism

In some churches, the words tradition or traditional are used in a pejorative sense. Anything that smacks of tradition is considered harmful to the desire to grow a large church. And since bigger is always better, tradition cannot be good.

Post Series

  • Westminster Shorter Catechism Series
  • Sermon on the Mount Series

Categories

Archives

Blogger Grid
Follow me on Blogarama

Copyright © 2022 · Focus Pro Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in