It is one thing to know about grace, it is entirely another to live as if grace is real. I was reminded today of the many ways that I have chosen to live as if I am not under the grace of God.
Sure, I know I don’t deserve God’s grace, and I know he freely bestows it on all who ask in the name of Jesus. But yet I often choose to live as though this is not true. I beat myself up for my failures and live as though God is angry with me even though He has promised his forgiveness.
In reflecting upon this, an old hymn came to mind:
1 Marvelous grace of our loving Lord,
Grace that exceeds our sin and our guilt!
Yonder on Calvary’s mount out-poured–
There where the blood of the Lamb was spilt.
Refrain:
Grace, grace, God’s grace,
Grace that will pardon and cleanse within;
Grace, grace, God’s grace,
Grace that is greater than all our sin!
2 Sin and despair, like the sea-waves cold,
Threaten the soul with infinite loss;
Grace that is greater– yes, grace untold–
Points to the Refuge, the mighty Cross. [Refrain]
3 Marvelous, infinite, matchless grace,
Hymnary.org
Freely bestowed on all who believe!
All who are longing to see His face,
Will you this moment His grace receive? [Refrain]
Yesterday I read the words of Jesus in John 6:29:
“This is the work of God—that you believe in the one he has sent.”
John 6:29, CSB
When I doubt God’s grace and love for me, I am failing to do what Jesus calls the work of God. I am choosing to disbelieve in spite of the evidence. This the Bible calls sin and the remedy is repentance.
A good friend called me out on this today and while it is hard to hear how my choices have hurt others, I realize that I can ask forgiveness, seek restoration, and trust that God will accomplish repair in me and in those I have hurt by my unbelief.
I’m taking baby steps toward a new freedom in Christ.
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