Attempts at Honesty

Reflections on the interplay of the Bible and Culture

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Grumbling, grace and edification

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GrumblingIt is easy to get frustrated with how things are. This seems especially true when it comes to churches. Each member has some idea of what the ideal church looks like and ultimately every church falls short of that ideal.

If we are not careful, that frustration can grow into grumbling about the leadership. This in turn can result in assigning wrong motives to the decisions the leaders make.

Recently I found two verses in our devotions which speak to this issue. They are:

Proverbs 25:8 (NASB95) — Do not go out hastily to argue your case; Otherwise, what will you do in the end, When your neighbor humiliates you?

Ephesians 4:29 (NASB95) — Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.

The verse in proverbs tells me that I should not be quick to jump to a conclusion about why things are the way they are. I know from experience of being in leadership, often times things are different than the leader would like them to be. Just because a leader is in place does not mean that he has control over every aspect of the system he leads. Any time there are people involved, there will be some level of chaos; my job is to not add to the chaos.

I cannot know all the circumstances and when I assume that I do know I am probably wrong. Therefore if I move to quickly to accuse, it may come back upon my head because I misunderstood or did not know the circumstances. Perhaps the leader did the best in a bad situation. Perhaps he was forced to choose the lesser of two evils. We cannot judge until the facts are known.

Even if I come to a conclusion about the situation, Paul tells me in Ephesians 4:29 that I need to be careful in what I say. Everything that is said must be good for edification. In other words, what I say must build up and not tear down. There is no exception clause here. He doesn’t say “let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth unless you are angry.” Paul doesn’t tell us to say whatever is on your mind even if you will have to later apologize for being unkind. He tells us that in all circumstances, angry or not, our speech must build up. Period, no exceptions.

So, before you fire off that email, or call your friend or have roast pastor for Sunday dinner, take a deep breath. Take the time to reflect upon the situation. Are you frustrated because something is pushing your buttons? Are you frustrated because you have unrealistic expectations of the leaders? Take the time to evaluate the source of the frustration.

Then, if your frustration is legitimate, take the time to figure out how to address it constructively and gracefully. It is hard to be angry and full of grace at the same time. Jesus could pull this combination off, I have learned that I cannot.

In most cases, your church leaders take their calling very seriously and criticism hurts them, especially when it is undeserved. If you are going to err, err on the side of grace. Your leaders will appreciate you for it since they are probably already aware of their shortcomings.

Love – not busyness or programs

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Man on treadmillSo much of church life in America is centered on busyness, programs and meetings, that it is possible to lose sight of what is really important. There is a danger of losing our focus. Paul tells us that our focus should be love.

Part of the danger is the great need that is within and without the church. People are becoming increasingly battered by life choices that are validated by the culture but prove to be damaging to the individual. There is much to do.

Yet the danger is that we take this on in our own strength and move ahead of God and without realizing it, supplant what God is trying to do.

In the opening verses of Philippians, Paul lets us know how he prayed for that church. In Phil. 1:9-11 Paul prays that the Philippians’ love might abound in knowledge and discernment. He did not pray for their busyness to abound. Nor did he pray for their programs to abound; he prayed for their love to abound.

He further qualifies this statement by praying specifically that the love would abound in knowledge and discernment. This is not a squishy, emotional love. Paul desires that the Philippians (and we) would have a love based on truth and good judgment. Our love must make the object be well not just feel well.

The purpose of this love is so that we might approve the things that are excellent, be sincere, not give offense and might be filled with the fruits of righteousness. Love is the basis on which all these things depend. Our love should work itself out in a life that is worth emulating.

I was reminded recently that it is very possible to be so busy doing good things that we miss out on opportunities to really convey love. When this happens, it is like being on a treadmill. A lot of activity takes place, but it doesn’t get you anywhere.

How many times have we had to have 20 second greetings in the church lobby because we have to rush to pick up a child, provide child care, cover the coffee ministry, the library ministry or some other activity? We have sign-ups and schedules and coverage charts which need to be updated and communicated. These are all good things, but the breathless activity often makes it difficult to deepen relationships.

I get the sense from the gospels that even though the needs surrounding Jesus were great, he still found time for teaching his disciples. He found time to share meals with tax collectors. He found time to be alone with his father.

Maybe we need to cut “ministries” rather than adding them. We certainly need a lot more love and perhaps a few less programs. Rather than rushing off to that “ministry” post, we should take the time to really minister to the person next to us in the pew. We could use a little less superficiality and a little more honesty.

Take a deep breath, relax and be real.

5 R’s for 2012 – A Lesson from the Apostle Paul

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We are 16 days into 2012. In thinking ahead to the the rest of the year, I want to choose some Bible verses as a point of emphasis. The passage that comes to mind is found in Philippians 4:4-8:

“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.” (NASB)

Anyone who has been in church for any length of time will have been exposed to this passage; it is quite familiar to most believers. Yet there are some things that jump out at me as I read them now.

We are commanded to rejoice. This is a command which can be obeyed or refused; a choice must be made. To be obedient, I must choose to rejoice. I have been blessed with a relatively comfortable life and compared to many I have little to complain about, yet sometimes I allow those little things to inhibit my ability to rejoice.

The next verse gives the reason why I should rejoice, even when things are not going the way I would like. Paul reminds me that the Lord is near. On the basis of his nearness, I can learn to not be anxious by bringing my concerns to God in prayer. I am to bring those concerns with thanksgiving, sometimes easier said than done.

The result of this will be that the peace of God will protect my heart (emotions) and mind (thoughts). I have the responsibility to bring the things that are bothering me to God and he will exchange the anxiety for peace. This is very cool, but how does it come about?

It comes about through discipline. I must train my mind to focus on what is true, honorable, right (or just), pure, lovely and of good reputation. It is on these things that I am to ponder and focus my attention.

I am generally an upbeat and optimistic person, so much of the time it is not hard for me to do this. But there are times when it is difficult. Paul doesn’t tell us only to do this when it’s easy. He doesn’t indicate that this should be the case most of the time. He indicates that we are to focus on these things all of the time.

War, economic problems, crime, governmental policy, family issues and dealing with people and their issues can easily distract me from thinking on the things Paul lists in Philippians. Along the same lines, the author of Hebrews commands us to keep our eyes fixed on Jesus (Hebrews 12:2) and not be pulled down by the bad news around me. We have a choice as to where we focus our attention and we need to choose well.

In summary, here are the bullet points from these verses with alliteration to help me remember them:

  1. Rejoice– rejoice always
  2. Remember– remember the Lord is near so don’t be anxious
  3. Request– Bring your concerns to God in prayer
  4. Rest– Let God’s peace protect my thoughts and emotions
  5. Reflect – Focus on the good things

This takes a discipline that I have yet to master. Yet by following these steps, I hope to look back on 2012 as a year of great progress in trusting God.

What is your verse or verses for the year?

Thoughts on Prayer inspired by C. S. Lewis

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C. S. Lewis ends his essay entitled The Efficacy of Prayer in a collection entitled The World’s Last Night: And Other Essays with these words:

“If we were stronger, we might be less tenderly treated. If we were braver, we might be sent, with far less help, to defend far more desperate posts in the great battle.”

School PrayerIn the article, Lewis builds a case that while there is mystery in prayer, one thing we do know is that prayer is not a means of tapping into a genie god that gives us whatever we want. By its very nature, a petition is a request of someone, a request that can be granted or denied based on the wishes of the one being petitioned. We are not guaranteed the request and a denial does not indicate a lack of love on the part of God.

To support his point that a denial does not indicate a lack of love, Lewis uses the example of Jesus in Gethsemane. In Matthew 26 and Mark 14 we find Jesus praying to avoid drinking the cup of God’s wrath on our behalf. He feared the suffering that was to come, yet was resigned to follow the father’s will. It was God’s will that Jesus would go to the Cross to accomplish the Salvation that was planned from eternity.

God, in his mercy and wisdom, does allow us to participate, through prayer, in the accomplishment of his will. In the course of that accomplishment, we are sometimes privileged to see answers to prayer that defy explanation as coincidence. Often it is those who are young in the faith, parying with innocent boldness, who see the most striking answers to prayer. Their immature faith is nurtured by these prayers.

In contrast to this, it seems that mature Christians are sometimes stretched in their faith by trials when it seems as though God is unwilling to grant their petition for relief. God, in his wisdom knows where the believer is and what he can handle (see 1 Corinthians 10:13). Paul prayed three times to be relieved of his “thorn in the flesh,” a petition that was not granted (2 Cor. 12:7). In the case of Paul’s thorn, God thought it necessary to allow it to remain to increase Paul’s understanding and dependence upon the grace of God.

I am encouraged in that when I find myself in circumstances which seem desperate, and in which God seems to delay in responding, I am better able to remember that I am not abandoned. I can also be confident that God is using the circumstance to build spiritual strength in me.

The desperate posts in the battle can be lonely and hard, but God knows what he’s doing and he chooses well. Why then am I so reluctant to volunteer?

What about you?

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