Attempts at Honesty

Reflections on the interplay of the Bible and Culture

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When your church becomes cultish

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When your church becomes cultishOne of the identifying marks of a cult is that the leader will demonize any person who leaves the group.

Even the best of churches cannot meet all the needs of everyone coming through the doors. There is room for diversity within the body of Christ and there is nothing inherently wrong with choosing a church based on preferences like style of preaching or style of worship.

I attend a great church but some people visit and determine that it is not the right church for them for a variety of reasons. I’m OK with that and I know that the leadership of my church is OK with that also.

Some attend a particular church for a while and get plugged into various aspects of church life only to find out that the church does not fit what they want in a church. Or, sometimes, the needs of a family change and another church may be better suited to minister to that family in their new stage in life. People leave churches for various legitimate reasons.

But, if the leader or leadership speaks ill of people who leave, then that church is becoming cultish no matter how orthodox the teaching and worship might be. No church leader or denomination has a monopoly on the truth. We all have equal access to Scripture and the Holy Spirit.

When a leader behaves in a way that indicates that those who left the church were wrong for doing so, then those that remain should seriously question whether that is a leader God would have them follow. To stay in that environment so that you can avoid the criticism if you leave is only delaying the inevitable.

When the leader is behaving in a manor contrary to the example we have in Jesus, then that leader disqualifies himself from leadership. It would be instructive at this point to review the qualifications that the Apostle Paul gives for an elder (or pastor).

“An overseer, then, must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, temperate, prudent, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not addicted to wine or pugnacious, but gentle, peaceable, free from the love of money. He must be one who manages his own household well, keeping his children under control with all dignity (but if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church of God?), and not a new convert, so that he will not become conceited and fall into the condemnation incurred by the devil. And he must have a good reputation with those outside the church, so that he will not fall into reproach and the snare of the devil.” (1 Timothy 3:2–7, NASB)

I would draw your attention to the command to not be pugnacious. In other words, the leader should not be looking for a fight. He should not fight with those who stay and he certainly should not fight with those who leave.

I am reminded of how Jesus dealt with Judas. Jesus knew that Judas was the one who would betray him, yet he did not treat Judas differently than the other disciples. Notice that when Jesus announced his upcoming betrayal, none of the disciples had a clue as to who it might be (John 13:25).

If you are a leader who is dealing with people who have left your church, wish them well. If you are tempted to criticize them, bite your tongue.

If you are in a church where there is pressure to stay, do not stay to avoid criticism. Stay only if that is where Jesus is calling you to worship and minister. My experience is that in such an environment, you will not have the freedom to minister as God would have you to do. But, you have to make the determination for yourself as to whether you stay or go.

What we need versus what we want

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NeedThe paralyzed man had no trouble understanding that he needed healing. Without the ability to walk, he could not earn a living or live a normal life. As a paralytic, his only means of supporting himself was as a beggar.

The text of Luke 5:18-25 does not indicate if the paralyzed man initiated the movement toward Jesus or if one of his friends came up with the idea. But, having heard of a healer named Jesus, four of his friends carried the man to Jesus so that he could be cured of his affliction.

The curious thing about this familiar Sunday School story is that when the man comes before Jesus for healing, Jesus does not directly address his paralysis. Jesus speaks to the man about his sin. What the man thought he needed was not his ultimate need. He wanted physical healing but Jesus addressed a deeper need, that for reconciliation with God.

Perhaps this gives us a clue as to why some of our prayers are not answered in the way would like. What I think I need may not be what God knows I really need. Jesus speaks to the desire of God to give us what we need when he says:

“Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!” (Matthew 7:9–11, ESV)

As Jesus reveals to us the character of God, we can know that when we ask for a snake but need a fish, the fish is what we get. Like the paralytic man, God will deal with us at our ultimate point of need.

One of the disturbing trends in the American church is the practice of speaking to the “felt needs” of those who come to the church. This is done to draw in those who otherwise would not think of attending church. The disturbing part is that in some, the preaching does not go beyond addressing those felt needs.

The story of the paralytic reminds us of the danger of ministering only to the perceived needs of people. The greater concern than a healthy marriage is a right relationship with God. There is nothing inherently wrong with a sermon series on raising healthy children but we do not need well adjusted children who do not understand that they are sinners in need of regeneration.

Paul told the Corinthians that his only goal was to present Jesus Christ and him crucified (1 Cor. 2:2). Without the Cross, there is no forgiveness of sin. Without the preaching of the Cross, we will not meet the ultimate need of the people who come to our church.

The best news is that God is concerned about all our needs. Jesus did heal the man of his paralysis. God uses our “felt needs” to bring us to the point where he can address our deepest need.

I am reminded of something that I’ve heard Ravi Zacharias say on multiple occasions:

Jesus did not come to make bad people good,
He came to make dead people live.

Simone Weil on Affliction

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Simone Weil on Affliction“It is sometimes easy to deliver an unhappy man from his present distress, but it is difficult to set him free from his past affliction. Only God can do it. And even the grace of God itself cannot cure the irremediably wounded nature here below. The glorified body of Christ bore the marks of the nail and spear.”

Don’t play the Korah card

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BibleI have been in a couple of situations where concerns were brought to a pastor who then likened the one who brought the concern to Korah attacking Moses. While I understand the temptation for a leader to deal with a complaint in this way, that temptation must be resisted. Not only is it inappropriate, it does nothing to fix the situation (unless of course the leader’s goal is to eliminate any other opinion than his own).

Playing the Korah card is wrong for the following reasons:

  • Nowhere in the New Testament do we have any indication that pastors are on a higher spiritual plane than those they lead. To play the Korah card assumes an authority that I do not see granted to an individual elder.
  • Whenever the ruling body of the church is mentioned in Acts, elders (plural) are mentioned. It is a group of elders and not an individual that provides leadership to the church. A leadership team takes personality conflict and personal blind spots out of the equation. A group of elders can hear the complaint and assess the appropriateness of what is being said and respond to the complaint in grace and truth.
  • My own experience is that when someone complains about me, there is usually a kernel of truth in the complaint that needs to be addressed. To dismiss the complaint by playing the Korah card is to reject an opportunity to be lead into growth by the Holy Spirit. Growth requires that we own the part that is true.

Keep in mind that Korah’s rebellion was ultimately against God and it was God who dealt with that rebellion. Moses did pray for God to reject Korah’s offering but Moses did not directly do anything against Korah. We should learn from Moses’ example.

A better way of dealing with the complaint is to bring it before the other elders so that they can sort out what is true and what is not in the complaint. This speaks to the importance of having a ministry team that can work together to speak into the blind spots of each other.

So, if you are a church leader who is tempted to play the Korah card when someone offers criticism, bite your tongue, bring it to God in prayer and ask for help from your fellow leaders to respond appropriately.

Everyone will be better off if you do.

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