Attempts at Honesty

Reflections on the interplay of the Bible and Culture

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Stop, Look and Listen – Three Steps to Better Communication

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communication I’m not naturally good at listening. Listening is a skill that has taken effort for me to develop. I have to force myself to slow down and take in what the other person is saying rather than focus on what I am going to say next.

Recently, in thinking about the skill of listening, the phrase “stop, look and listen” came to me. It seems applicable to developing the skill for listening, not just for trains, but in the midst of conversation. Here is why I think this phrase is helpful:

  • Stop – stop the self focused mental process so that I can hear and understand what the other person is saying. Decide to really hear.
  • Look – Look at the other person. Make eye contact. Observe his body language. Take in all the clues to communication.
  • Listen – By stopping and looking, I am now in a position to listen.

So, the suggestion to stop, look and listen will help you at a railroad crossing and in your next conversation.

What are some other suggestion you have for developing the skill of listening?

Miscommunication Hurts

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CommunicationThe inability of the gelateria cashier to understand English (real or feigned) and my inability to speak Italian cost me an extra 4 Euros.

I tried to order three small gelatos, a decaf cappuccino, and two regular cappuccinos. What the attendant thought I ordered was three small gelatos, two medium gelatos and a decaf cappuccino.

The guy at the counter was nice enough to give us what we thought we ordered, but not nice enough to refund us the difference.

This story illustrates that miscommunication carries a cost. Four Euros will be little missed in the grand scheme of things. But what about the cost associated with miscommunication, through words or actions, of the Gospel of Jesus?

I need to be sure that my words and my living are not a stumbling block to those who need the Truth to set them free.

Am I living as though the veil is torn and I am in constant communion with a Holy God? Am I living as one who has been crucified with Christ? Do I live as though God is the only important preoccupation for me? Are my thoughts and words full of grace and truth?

Sometimes these things are true, but not often enough. I pray that what John the Baptist said would be true of me: “He must increase and I decrease.”

When to use the delete key

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Twitter, Facebook, blogs and other communication tools enhance the speed of disseminating thoughts and information.

The question I ask myself this morning is how do I determine what is worth communicating? Is there a test which determines when the delete key should be used?

I believe that Paul gives us such a test in 1 Corinthians 13. Paul tells me that without love I am a noisy gong or clanging cymbal. Therefore, I must determine if my message conveys the love that I receive from God. If it does not, or if it is incompatible with love, then the delete key is the only remedy.

The internet is full of noise and clanging, it is my hope that I will not increase the volume.

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