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Attempts at Honesty

Reflections on the interplay of the Bible and Culture

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Home Archives for 2014

Archives for 2014

On dealing with toxic people

Posted on August 15, 2014 Written by Mark McIntyre 6 Comments

ToxicMy guess is that everyone has someone in their life that is difficult to tolerate. It could be the relative who feels free to offer criticism and judgment. It could be the boss who never is satisfied with your work. It could be a member of the church who wants to be involved (and in charge) of just about everything. We cannot help but have toxic people in our lives.

While it is important to put up healthy boundaries, and limit your exposure to these toxic people, it is unlikely that you can avoid them entirely. What then are we to do? Jesus gives us some advice on this when he said:

“”But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.” (Luke 6:27–28, ESV)

We are to love them.

Notice that there are no qualifiers. No statement to love them if . . .

We are to love them and pray for them.

In the parallel passage in Matthew 5, we are told to pray for those who persecute us. The King James Version uses the words “despitefully use” instead of abuse. These are people who cannot be trusted to do well for us. These are people who cause harm.

The idea is that we are to pray for them and love them even though they are toxic and difficult.

The human response is to avoid or confront depending on your personality. Either response may be legitimate.

Jesus’ tells us that we should be “shrewd as serpents and innocent as doves.” From this I conclude that we need to be wise in how much we are exposed to these people. Also, since we are called to speak the truth in love, there may be times where it appropriate to confront the toxic person on his/her toxicity.

But our love and prayer must be overarching any response we have that confronts or avoids. We mus seek God in prayer for an appropriate response while interceding in prayer on behalf of the toxic person.

I’ve struggled to do this well. How about you?

Filed Under: Bible Reflection

Thy kingdom come . . .

Posted on August 14, 2014 Written by Mark McIntyre 4 Comments

Kingdom ComeI doubt that I have ever done a truly selfless act in my life. My actions fall into the range of slightly selfless to fully selfish. I don’t want it to be that way, I pray that it wouldn’t be that way, but it is what it is.

When I recite prayers from Scripture and sing songs in church, what I’m saying is often more an expression of desire than reality. One example is when I pray in the Lord’s Prayer, “Your kingdom come, your will be done on Earth . . . ”

When John the Baptist was confronted with Jesus’ rising popularity, his response was, “a man can receive only what is given him from heaven” (John 3:27). The point is that John understood his need to be content with the ministry that he was given and not seek something bigger.

How many times have we seen leaders fall into the trap of allowing their ministry to become their god and displace the true God as their object of devotion? Over time the ministry becomes bigger than the God they seek to worship. Some have had meteoric rises followed by spectacular crashes. I’m sure that several names of fallen leaders readily come to your mind as you read this.

Like the Pharisee in the Temple, it is easy for me to look at these leaders in judgment and derision. But when I stop and reflect, the only difference between me and those leaders is the daring it takes to step out to do something big in the first place.

The point of this is that if I truly want Jesus’ kingdom to come, I must seek the king for the role he wants me to play, play it to the best of my ability and be content with that role.

In America we are brought up with the idea that to be in any place other than first place is to be a loser. This is the idea behind the phrase, “second place is first loser.” This, unfortunately, carries over into the church and causes men and women to seek ever greater positions to bolster their sense of advancement. The problem is that this advancement does more to advance selfish desires than the kingdom of God.

As Tim Keller reminds me, I am more deeply flawed than I could ever know, but I am more deeply loved than I could ever imagine. By God’s grace, the flaws diminish as I respond in obedience and the selfishness, while still there holds less sway than it did. As I look to Christ for my identity, I am increasingly content with whatever role I am given and have less drive to be something greater in the eyes of the people around me.

I also take comfort in the fact that there is nothing I can do to derail God’s plan. He knows my selfish tendencies and can use me despite my flaws. This is not an excuse to give sway to the flaws, but it is a means of putting them in perspective.

Thy Kingdom come, thy will be done . . . anyone else have a similar struggle?

Filed Under: Bible Reflection

Some links to consider – 8/13/2014

Posted on August 13, 2014 Written by Mark McIntyre Leave a Comment

LInkMost of the stuff I read on the internet I get through RSS subscriptions and I use Feedly to scan through the list of posts and determine which I will read.

In the past, when I found an article or post that I like, I would post links to that article on social media. I’m rethinking that strategy and am planning to occasionally post a list of articles that speak to the issues that the church is facing, theological discussion or other topics that could be helpful to the readers of Attempts at Honesty. This is the first such post.

The idea behind doing this is to give readers a chance to see articles that they might miss in their social media streams.

Some Links to Consider

Marc Cortez writes on the need to write something new.

Thomas Rauchenstein gives us three pitfalls for the Christian apologist to avoid.

J. Warner Wallace tells us what Criminal Trials Teach Us About Objective Moral Truth.

Kenn Mann writes about Christianity in the public square.

Greg Koukl provides a video post answering the question, Would It Be Ethical for a Christian to Work in a Casino?

Filed Under: Blog Referral Tagged With: link

On megachurch pastors and failure

Posted on August 12, 2014 Written by Mark McIntyre Leave a Comment

Mars Hill ChurchI have no idea what really happened with Mark Driscoll, nor do I want to. This post is not about slamming him. The only thing I will say about Mark Driscoll is that the way he is being treated in the press seems wrong and illustrates a larger problem in society and the church.

When we move away from a proper understanding of the the fall of man we lose sight of the fact that every aspect of every man (and woman) carries the taint of sin. We are all flawed and left unchecked, those flaws will cause trouble.

The problem I see in society is that we have a celebrity culture which ascribes superhuman status to the lucky (or unlucky depending on your perspective) few who have been deemed celebrities. Celebrities can do no wrong and they always seem to get the benefit of the doubt.

Perhaps I am a poor student of history,  but I cannot think of any other time and place where rock-star status in one discipline made a person an expert in all others. We have musicians and actors that make political / social pronouncements as if they have studied the subject for a lifetime. Popularity provides an ascribed authority that is not in keeping with actual knowledge.

The church has fared  little better. We have our own rock stars that seemingly can do no wrong. If he is selling lots of books, it is presumed that he must be right. All those people couldn’t be wrong could they? Yet, a great preacher might be only s0-so at pastoral ministry. A great preacher might be a poor leader. We have to remind ourselves that no-one is good at everything.

The need for a prophetic voice

David and Nathan
Nathan Confronts David

To give some perspective on this I suggest that we look for a moment at the difference between King David and King Saul in the Old Testament. Saul, had Samuel as a prophetic voice during his reign but he seldom, if ever, heeded the advice of Samuel. David, on the other hand, gave Nathan access to him and responded in repentance when Nathan confronted David on his sin. David saw the need to have a prophetic voice speak into his life and ministry.

In too many church cultures, there is a Pastor at the top with no-one around him who can function as the prophetic voice to offer restraint and correction.

I’ve been in a church where the Pastor was the ultimate (only) authority and it was a train wreck. People got hurt in the name of Christ for the sake of the Pastor’s “vision.” I do not think that this pastor did it maliciously or intentionally, but his intent does not matter, he will have to give an account for the lives he has damaged in the name of the one he claims to serve.

I want to be in a church that has a true plurality in the leadership and no one man holds most of the cards. Solo responsibility is too much power for even the best of men. Also, a plurality of leadership allows for multiple gifts and viewpoints to speak into any situation. We all have strengths and blind spots and a plurality allows for us to help others in their weak areas and be helped in ours.

I’m sure that Mark Driscoll has made mistakes in his leadership. Every leader has. But I wonder, if Mars Hill had helped Mark Driscoll avoid the pitfalls of celebrity, if things may have turned out differently. As it is, I hope that Mr. Driscoll repents in response to the accusations that he needs to own and that he can ignore the parts that are malicious and wrong.

But we all need to remember that ultimately Mark Driscoll will give his account to Jesus, not to us. This is the same Jesus who will call each of us to account and we will all be judged by the same standard.

So, I recommend that you put down that stone, you will only hurt yourself.

Filed Under: Church Leadership Tagged With: Church, failure, leadership, megachurch, pastor

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