Attempts at Honesty

Reflections on the interplay of the Bible and Culture

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One flesh and inseparable – does your church view marriage this way?

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It was not by accident that the first recorded miracle of Jesus happened at a wedding. Jesus was at the first wedding recorded in the opening chapters of Genesis and he chose to be at the wedding in Cana of John 2. Weddings are important to God because marriage is important to him. In Scripture, marriage is an oft repeated picture God uses to illustrate His relationship with his people. God takes marriage very seriously.

There is a danger in American churches that we are inadvertently contributing to marital strife through busyness and the emphasis upon service to the congregation. In some cases one spouse in a marriage is so busy at church that the other spouse can feel neglected. The church should never be the agent of separation in a marriage, yet sometimes this is the case.

When the divorce rate in the church approaches that of the society at large, we must conclude that something is wrong with the way we are presenting or living out the Gospel. When our marriages are not noticeably different than those of the non-believers around us, then a little bit of self assessment is in order.

As church leaders, we should be doing everything possible to make sure that we are supporting marriages and not doing anything to strain them. We should not be giving responsibilities to people that put stress on marriage and family life. Since God takes marriage seriously, church leaders will be called to give an account of how they supported the marriages in their care. While we may not be able to prevent divorce in our congregations, we certainly should not be adding stress which contributes to it.

Can we take the time to reassess all the activities in the church to be sure that they are necessary? Can we reassess each program and ministry to see if it is achieving the desired result? Can we be bold enough to stop doing the stuff that really doesn’t need to be done? Can we make sure that what is getting done is not taking a toll on marriages and family?

Here are some questions that should be asked when church activities are straining a marriage:

  • Who are you serving? Jesus said that a marriage was put together by God (Matthew 19:6). Are you really serving God if your ministry causes division in your marriage?
  • Who are you avoiding? Are you using ministry to avoid relationship with your spouse? Workaholism in the church is no better than workaholism in the business world.
  • Who are you helping? By creating tension in your marriage, who are you really helping? Can you really be used by God to minister to others when you are neglecting your spouse?

We can’t ignore signs of difficulty because the stuff that is getting done makes our lives easier. When ministry is having a negative impact on marriage, the leaders must take action. To do anything less is negligence.

Love – not busyness or programs

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Man on treadmillSo much of church life in America is centered on busyness, programs and meetings, that it is possible to lose sight of what is really important. There is a danger of losing our focus. Paul tells us that our focus should be love.

Part of the danger is the great need that is within and without the church. People are becoming increasingly battered by life choices that are validated by the culture but prove to be damaging to the individual. There is much to do.

Yet the danger is that we take this on in our own strength and move ahead of God and without realizing it, supplant what God is trying to do.

In the opening verses of Philippians, Paul lets us know how he prayed for that church. In Phil. 1:9-11 Paul prays that the Philippians’ love might abound in knowledge and discernment. He did not pray for their busyness to abound. Nor did he pray for their programs to abound; he prayed for their love to abound.

He further qualifies this statement by praying specifically that the love would abound in knowledge and discernment. This is not a squishy, emotional love. Paul desires that the Philippians (and we) would have a love based on truth and good judgment. Our love must make the object be well not just feel well.

The purpose of this love is so that we might approve the things that are excellent, be sincere, not give offense and might be filled with the fruits of righteousness. Love is the basis on which all these things depend. Our love should work itself out in a life that is worth emulating.

I was reminded recently that it is very possible to be so busy doing good things that we miss out on opportunities to really convey love. When this happens, it is like being on a treadmill. A lot of activity takes place, but it doesn’t get you anywhere.

How many times have we had to have 20 second greetings in the church lobby because we have to rush to pick up a child, provide child care, cover the coffee ministry, the library ministry or some other activity? We have sign-ups and schedules and coverage charts which need to be updated and communicated. These are all good things, but the breathless activity often makes it difficult to deepen relationships.

I get the sense from the gospels that even though the needs surrounding Jesus were great, he still found time for teaching his disciples. He found time to share meals with tax collectors. He found time to be alone with his father.

Maybe we need to cut “ministries” rather than adding them. We certainly need a lot more love and perhaps a few less programs. Rather than rushing off to that “ministry” post, we should take the time to really minister to the person next to us in the pew. We could use a little less superficiality and a little more honesty.

Take a deep breath, relax and be real.

Water, chisel or dynamite? Choosing the right tool to drive change

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Rock is a material that is resistant to change and provides a good analogy for an organization or people that need to be lead. Rock likes to stay as it is, it will not change on its own.

Having worked in the mining industry I know what impact explosives can have on rock. Explosives experts can take a large chunk of solid rock and make into very small pieces. This process is fast but the result looks nothing like what you started with. It also cannot be very fun for the rock.

Water is also effective in changing rock. If you have been in a cave or canyon, you can attest to this. Water dissolves minerals and slowly changes the shape and size of the rock. This process is agonizingly slow but the result allows the rock to retain its previous form and often enhances the beauty to the point where we make it a national or state park. This process is not directed by a leader and the result is dictated by the type of rock, quantity of water and other factors beyond the control of a leader.

The chisel falls somewhere in between water and dynamite as a means of changing rock. Under the hand of the sculptor, the chisel can take away the bits of rock that are not contributing to the desired result. The chisel is faster than water and is more selective and controlled than dynamite. Used with skill the chisel shapes the rock in accordance with the sculptor’s vision.

Leaders have to choose whether they want to use dynamite or a chisel to change their organization. Or they can allow the organization to change via natural process like water dissolving rock. All three methods are valid depending on the quantity of change needed, the urgency of the need and the current make-up of the organization.

An organization that is severely dysfunctional may need to be blown up and reassembled. An organization that is basically functioning but has some pieces that are not contributing to the desired result, may need to have some members removed. Some organizations which are functioning should be allowed to change at their own pace. It takes wisdom as a leader to know which method is appropriate.

I have seen leaders who grow impatient with the speed of change and therefore use too much force trying to drive change. Often the result is ugly. In the case of an organization that is largely made up of volunteers, the leader who uses too much force can find himself very alone. Never use dynamite when a chisel will do. Never use the chisel when the process is already taking place but is slower than you would like.

True change in people has to come from the inside. There is a big difference between true change and organizational conformity. As church leaders, we are looking for true change. This is often an agonizingly slow process, therefore patience is required.

Church leaders also have the added dimension of trusting that God is also involved in the process and he is working in the leader and those he leads to bring about his desired result. We, as church leaders, are responsible to follow God’s lead and not try to drive change faster than God is bringing it about.

It is God’s church. In the end, the church is to reflect God’s glory, not the leader’s.

Homeland Security for the Church – The Need to Defend the Faith

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For my generation and our progeny, the church cannot start from the Defend the faithposition that people want religion and are shopping around to determine what religion is right or best. We cannot take for granted that people in the community feel a need for God. The popularity of the writings of Sam Harris, Christopher Hitchens and Richard Dawkins is evidence enough of hostility in our culture toward God and religion.

The fact that acts of aggression are done in the name of religion does not increase receptiveness to Christianity. The church (using the term very loosely) does not have a perfect record in this regard. The Inquisition and the Crusades are often used as evidence of the danger of religion. Added to this are recent horrors perpetrated by followers of Islam. Homicidal bombers and terrorist pilots have murdered thousands of innocent people in the name of Allah.

In the face of all this, the church is still called to fulfill her mission. Jesus gave the church her marching orders as recorded in Matthew 28:18–20. We are called by Jesus to make disciples. Disciple making is the main verb and main thought of this commission. We make disciples by going, teaching and baptizing.

Because boomers are suspicious of religion, it is not enough for the church to know what we believe, it is now more important to know why we believe it. We not only need to know the truth, we need to understand why it is the truth and why Christianity offers the best explanation of man and his world.

We, as the church, must stand up to the false dichotomy between belief and reason that permeates western culture. This dichotomy is illustrated by a bumper sticker that a coworker proudly displayed saying, “If you don’t pray in my school, I won’t think in your church.” The implication is that there can be no overlap between thinking and believing.

Many churches do a fantastic job of teaching the Bible and how to live according to Biblical principles. Yet too often, believers are not trained in how to explain their belief to their neighbors. We often do a poor job of training our young people about how Christianity stands out in the marketplace of ideas and competing world views. Because we do not explain to our young people that there is a rational basis for belief in Jesus Christ, because we do not train them about the implications of belief or non-belief, because we do not prepare them to encounter hostility and pseudo-intellectualism, many of our young people fall away and reject Jesus Christ.

The Apostle Peter challenges us to

“sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence” (1 Peter 3:15 NASB)

We take national security very seriously. In response to the September 11 attacks, America developed an organization called the Department of Homeland Security. In the same way, the church should have a renewed interest in homeland security for the church. We are under attack, we have an enemy that wants to destroy us and we need to know how to respond.

This is a call to church leaders to train themselves to defend the faith and contend for the claims of Jesus Christ. We need to offer answers to those who are searching for them. The Sunday sermon, as important as it is, is not enough to sustain belief. Other opportunities for discussion and training need to be provided.

We also need to provide a forum for questioners to find answers. There are answers to the questions that they are asking, but too often the church shames them into silence.

If we do not raise up a generation of defenders of the faith, those of us in church leadership will one day have to give an answer to our Lord as to why we did not.

Question: What is your church doing to provide answers to hard questions and train people to defend their faith?

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