Social media and the need for validation

Posted on July 2, 2012 Written by Mark McIntyre 4 Comments

I recently read where a social media guru said something to the effect of, “there are two types of people involved in social media, those who want more followers and those who are lying about it.” There is a part of us that wants to be validated by those around us and social media provides a means of numerically providing that validation.

In contrast to this, the Apostle Paul writes in Galatians 1:10, “If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ.” Paul makes a distinction between pleasing men and serving God. The servant must find his validation in his master and not his peers. Christians should find validation in relationship with Jesus Christ and obedience to his commands.

Part of living in community is to refrain from giving offense to your neighbors. There is something appropriate about taking feedback from the people around so that we can know how we are perceived by the community. Those who do not accept this feedback are considered antisocial or worse.

Paul is not saying that he does not care how he is perceived. What Paul is saying is that he cannot let public opinion keep him from following the path laid out for him by his Master, Jesus Christ.

While the desire to be liked may not be inappropriate, if that desire keeps me from doing what is right, it then becomes an improper desire. As a recovering man-pleaser this can be a struggle for me.

There are times when I should speak up and say something appropriate to the situation but remain silent for fear of causing someone to dislike me. There are other times when I have joined in conversation in an inappropriate way so that I better fit in with the group. I can cave in on something that I think is important so that I do not make any waves. I have found that peer pressure does not stop with the end of formal education. I can be side-tracked by emotional bullies.

Perhaps I might make a case that my compromises are small ones, yet they are still compromises and some of them are sin. Paul sets the example by stating that the only thing that matters for the believer is whether or not he pleases God. While we cannot earn our salvation, by being obedient, we can one day hear that coveted blessing, “Well done, good and faithful slave” (Matthew 25:21).

While the drive to be liked, followed or otherwise connected on social media is morally neutral, if it keeps me from being obedient to God, then it is an idol that requires smashing. The same is true of setting up other measures of “man-pleasing” such as church attendance, sermon downloads, etc.

We are called to emulate Jesus in being full of grace and truth. If we compromise on the truth for the sake of popularity or acceptance, we are not being faithful to our call to live as salt and light in a world that desperately needs it.

Discussion question: How do you determine when you are becoming a “man-pleaser?” Please add your thoughts in the comment section below.

Stumbling blocks: how we live matters more than our words

Posted on June 27, 2012 Written by Mark McIntyre 1 Comment

In my previous post, I mentioned a study by the Barna Group, which documents that 59% of young Christians “disconnect either permanently or for an extended period of time from church life after age 15.” This is a scary statistic and is way too high. You might argue that the number will never be zero, but we should have zero as our goal.

I am not a sociologist and I suppose that to better understand the problem I should read the book that Barna released which adds detail in support of their findings. But I have been involved in the Church since I was born and made some observations along the way. While I never really rebelled or considered walking away from Christianity, I did have my share of questions and struggles with how to reconcile what I thought I knew of God and what I saw in the world around me.

By His grace, at the peak of my questioning, God brought men into my life that could point me toward answers to my questions. It was at that time that I began reading C. S. Lewis, Francis Schaeffer and others who supported my faith with Scripture and clear thought. The result was that while I could not reconcile all of the struggles, I at least came away convinced that my faith was reasonable and that the beginning of answers to the tough questions could be found in Scripture and in Christian thinkers. When I say the beginning of answers, I am not suggesting that Scripture is deficient. The deficiency lies in my ability to understand Scripture and go behind it to the mind of God.

Yet, the struggle paid off in a renewed confidence in God and the church (with all her imperfections).

It is normal for young men and women to question their world. It is normal for them to question their parents and ask why a particular belief is held. The injunction in 1 Peter 3:15 to be ready to give a defense applies as much (or perhaps more) to parents as it does to someone witnessing on the street or at work. We need to challenge and be challenged by our children. They should question and parents should have answers.

Yet Scripture provides warnings to parents and church leaders. A pair of Scriptural warnings comes to mind:

Psalm 69:6: “May those who wait for You not be ashamed through me, O Lord God of hosts; May those who seek You not be dishonored through me, O God of Israel.”
Matthew 18:6, “but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a heavy millstone hung around his neck, and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.”

If we are defensive about inconsistencies in what we say we believe and how we act, we send the message that what is said is irrelevant. Parents have a tremendous responsibility to submit themselves to Jesus Christ for the sake of not laying a snare or stumbling block in the path of their children. “Do as I say and not as I do” has never worked well and never will.

We cannot live the Christian life perfectly (I certainly don’t – just ask my kids), yet if it cannot be seen our lives that we are seeking to live it out in dependence and submission to God, then we give up our credibility and become a stumbling block. Psalm 69:6 declares David’s desire to not be a stumbling block. David does not want to dishonor God by tarnishing God’s reputation.

Jesus steps it up a notch or two and tells us that it be better to be killed than to cause a little one to stumble. This is harsh, but it tells us that God takes parenting and church leadership very seriously and so should we.

Parents and church leaders, the best thing we can do for the next generation is to renounce our selfishness and come to meet Jesus at the Cross in humility and submission. We need to confess where we have compromised and seek to recover the ground that was lost. We want to hear the words of Matthew 25:21, “well done good and faithful slave.” We need to live lives that point to the reality of the Gospel.

Discussion: In what areas have we failed the next generation and what can we do about it?

On baskets, bread and the next generation

Posted on June 27, 2012 Written by Mark McIntyre Leave a Comment

The disciples came to Jesus with a problem. Jesus had been followed by a large crowd, they were in the middle of the wilderness and the people were hungry.

The disciples understood the problem but did not have the means to provide and answer. They did not have sufficient perspective or understanding to anticipate the way that God wanted to work in the situation.

The story is recorded in Matthew 14:15-21 where we read that Jesus took five loaves of bread and two fish and multiplied them sufficiently to feed the entire crowd.

Like the disciples, we struggle to get the big picture and often respond within the limitations of our own experience. The danger for 21^st Century church leaders is that we can depend on tried-and-true church forms and think them adequate to solve the problems we see. When they don’t work, we grumble about the Enemy or the hard hearts of the people to which we are reaching out. Yet, like in the feeding of the 5,000, perhaps God wants to work in a different way and we need to cease being an impediment to that work.

When the Barna group reports that 59% of young Christians leave the church, it is time to admit that we are doing something wrong. In my own experience I see that despite good preaching, despite youth retreats, despite frequent youth activities and despite Christian education, many kids have lukewarm connection with the church or have left it entirely. Too few are active and engaged following high school.

Perhaps we have been guilty of trying to manufacture the food ourselves rather than coming to Jesus to provide it. Perhaps we have gotten so caught up in the activities of the church we have lost touch with the central message of the Gospel. Maybe we have become so preoccupied with looking good rather than living well. Perhaps we have been so active that we have allowed distance to creep into our relationship with Jesus. Maybe we’ve been carrying around empty baskets.

All the disciples had to do was carry the baskets; Jesus provided the food. They had two things to do. They had to keep from spilling it and get it to the people. It was not complicated.

Are we carrying baskets full of spiritual food? Are we getting spiritual food to the people who are starving for it? The answer seems to be that we are not if so many are leaving the church.

Like the disciples carrying the baskets, we have two main jobs. We are to love God with our entire beings and love our neighbors as ourselves. One way to look at this is that the love of God is the food and our love of our neighbor is the reason why we carry the food to that neighbor.

I’m not sure of the entire answer to the problem of youth leaving the church, but I suspect that it involves getting our own hearts right before God. If we are indeed following the first great command to love God, then we will have something of value to impart to the next generation.

As Muddy Waters said, “you can’t spend what you ain’t got.”

What do you think? What is it that we need to do to reduce the numbers of youth leaving the church? Please comment below.

5 Tests to assess disciple making in the Church

Posted on June 23, 2012 Written by Mark McIntyre 4 Comments

The church is called by Jesus Christ to make disciples. How does one assess how well a local church is doing at making disciples?

Quality versus Quantity

Quantity is easy to assess by counting heads on a Sunday morning, but how about quality? How do we assess the quality of the disciples that are being made?

Numbers tell part of the story, but cannot be the only means of assessment. A good preacher and a good worship band will pack the house on Sunday mornings. But there needs to more than 20 to 60 minutes of instruction on a Sunday morning or Wednesday night. Discipleship and growth have to happen in one-on-one meetings, small groups or perhaps even classroom instruction.

No church is doing this perfectly and the point of this exercise is to provide food for thought as to how to identify good discipleship. Toward that end, I thought of 5 ways of assessing how well your church is doing.

1 – Are disciples grounded and ready to give an answer for their hope?

In an increasingly ill-informed and possibly hostile cultural environment, disciples need to be able to explain what they believe and why they believe it (1 Peter 3:15).

Recently there have been some really scary statistics as to the high percentage of teens who leave the church, many of them never returning. I wonder how many of those who leave do so because they have not been properly trained to understand and defend their faith. With proper training, would these teens succumb to attacks from their peers and teachers? If parents have been trained to explain their faith, would the numbers of children who walk away be lowered?

2 – Are disciples growing in their display of the fruit of the spirit?

Even the most mature believer among us will look at Galatians 5:22-23 and reflect on how much improvement is still possible in displaying the fruit of the Spirit. One never arrives, but we should see progress. Do visitors to the church feel loved, see joy, experience patience, etc.? Do the members of the church experience these things from each other? Can you look at people that have come to Christ in your church and see progress in Spiritual fruit being displayed? Is this the norm for people in the body?

3 – Are disciples growing in their ability to understand and explain Scripture ?

Have the disciples been taught the skills they need to rightly understand Scripture (2 Timothy 2:15)? Have they been instructed in using Bible study tools? Have they been given an overview of Scripture so that in reading they can place what they are reading in a proper historical context? Have the disciples been given grounding in the fundamental beliefs of Christianity? Can the disciples explain what they’ve learned and bring others along in the disciple making process?

4 – Are disciples equipped for the work of ministry?

Do disciples have a handle on how they are gifted and how they fit into the body of Christ? Has the leadership of the church helped them with this understanding? Has the leadership equipped them and empowered them to exercise that gift (Ephesians 4:12)? Is spontaneous ministry happening or does the leadership of the church need to coordinate everything that is taking place?

5 – Are disciples turned loose to be lead by the Holy Spirit to build up the church?

If the pastor or the elder board feels the need to approve every Bible study or prayer group that is formed within the body, people are not free to minister. Either God is in control or the church leadership is, there is no middle ground. 1 Corinthians 12:7 tells us that the Holy Spirit gives gifts as He sees fit to be used to build the church.

It is a well used phrase, but it applies here: you can’t steer a parked car. If you turn people loose to begin Bible Studies, prayer groups and practical ministries then God can use those people for his glory in a way that the church leadership never could have dreamed.

Leaders, remember that if you reprimand someone (no matter how gently) for doing something without checking with leadership, you are diminishing their initiative. After several thwarted attempts at taking initiative, they will either become passive and wait to be told what to do, or they will leave and find another church. Neither of these results is good for you or the Body of Christ.

These are five that I’ve been thinking about. Can you add to the list? What else can be used to assess the disciple making process? Please comment below.